Why Children Growing Up With Domestic Violence Struggle to Find Help Online

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Late last night, I Googled “bulimia.” A very good friend called me extremely upset and told me he heard his daughter throwing up after dinner. He is worried but doesn’t know what to do. She is 12 years old. I don’t know much about this topic, but I knew enough to search for “bulimia.” But […]

The Price of Growing Up With Domestic Violence

The majority of adults who grew up with domestic violence feel immense shame and guilt as adults. Yet it can take time before we recognize that the source of our shame can often stem from feeling helpless as a child amid the violence at home, and somehow also responsible for causing it. The good news […]

Who Qualifies As a Child of Domestic Violence?

We are a silent group with no name, one whose numbers could populate an entire continent. It’s natural to doubt whether you were truly a child of domestic violence. In this article I hope to provide you with clarity, as well as some answers for what it means to be a child of domestic violence. […]

Discovering the Vicious Cycle That I Could Now End

As children we are often aware only of what’s happening directly around us. Yet as we become adults we often discover that the way our parents (or guardians) treated us had a lot to do with how they were treated as children. Domestic violence is unfortunately a vicious cycle that is often inherited and passed on from […]

My Story Growing Up With Domestic Violence

When I was 6 years old, my mother slept with a knife under her pillow, and I kept a baseball bat under my bed. It was one of those souvenir bats you might win at an amusement park, but it was the best weapon I could get my hands on. Although we kept these items […]

Domestic Violence and the Lies We Learn

Domestic violence is not a comfortable subject and those of us who grew up living with domestic violence, learned it was easier to stay silent most of the time. However this is one of many lies we learned, now it’s time to embrace the truth. When we do, we set ourselves free of our past, […]

Open letter to: Young people who are growing up with domestic violence.

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This was sent out last week to leading children’s organizations, schools & community centers throughout the country. Open letter to: Young people who are growing up with domestic violence. The past few weeks have been more difficult for you than most weeks.  We are all sorry. I grew up living with domestic violence from the time […]

Control the Meaning of your Childhood – Especially in Homes with Domestic Violence

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Control the Meaning (Part 2 of 2) A technique you can use to help you control the meaning is DATA: decide, ask, truth, act Decide: Decide what you are feeling.  Recognize and identify your emotions by asking, “What exactly am I feeling?” Let’s use, for example, anger. Ask yourself “What else can I assume about […]

What unknown special skill do those who grew up living with domestic violence have access to?

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“I understand that I cannot control the thoughts and actions of others. But I can exercise the ultimate control—control over the meaning of any situation—control over myself. When I am in control of my thoughts and my feelings and my actions, nothing is more powerful.” (Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic […]