From HOPELESS to GUIDED: Learning to Control the Meaning of Growing Up With CDV

Meaning and purpose is the opposite of despair. You can’t believe your life holds meaning and also simultaneously feel hopeless. Here in this post I want to give you a glimpse of the life and future that can be yours when you embrace the true meaning and purpose of all you faced in your childhood home and also of the unique gifts that you’ve forged out of the fires of adversities in childhood – when you overcome the LIE of HOPELESSNESS learned in that home and become GUIDED.

blog-6-17He experienced more pain than I could ever imagine

It took me years to understand the power of controlling the meaning in life. My first inklings, however, arrived when my mother gave me a couple of books that she had heard of through the Oprah Winfrey show. The one that struck me most was Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychologist who survived a concentration camp during World War II and went on to establish a movement based on the premise that we can find and control the meaning in all forms of existence, even one as dire as a concentration camp.

My takeaway was this: If Viktor Frankl could go through what he went through, overcome HOPELESSNESS, and control the meaning of what he experienced, how could I not? He experienced more pain than I could ever imagine and came through it to lead a productive and successful life and give well beyond himself. He realized that he could not act or feel in a way that was different from whom he believed he was, so he learned to control the meaning.

I felt determined to one day be in control of the meaning as well

As I sat with that realization, I felt determined to one day be in control of the meaning as well. I knew that eventually I would get my answers for why life was the way it was. I wouldn’t have to convince anyone of it because I would know it to be true. I knew the rent would be paid and my mother would have a chance to live safely and comfortably, without having to work so hard, or mask the pain with alcohol, or cower in fear of her abusive boyfriend.

We all have dreams and desires, and we all want to experience life fully without limitations

We all have dreams and desires, and we all want to experience life fully without limitations. These were my dreams as a child. I deeply wanted to free myself and my mother from the limitations of our circumstances. This was the purpose and meaning I derived from my childhood circumstances – a burning drive to change my life and my mother’s for the better. Discovering that meaning and purpose emerging from my childhood adversity fueled me in life, eventually freed me of many limitations, and led me down a path to achieving the things I most wanted. Despite what I experienced as a child, or rather, because of it, I was GUIDED. Learning to control the meaning can GUIDE you and do the same for you too.

Please share in the comments below what meaning and purpose you can derive from your childhood adversity and how that purpose fuels your pursuits and achievements each day. Thank you for sharing.

A detailed overview of the HOPELESS Lie can be found in CHAPTER 6 (“Hopeless to Guided”) of INVINCIBLE: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up With Domestic Violence, and the Truths to Set You Free.

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